Father walk down aisle...or father AND mother?
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by ice-queen » July 12th, 2009, 1:16 pm
I know it is almost always done in Jewish weddings. I am going to have both my parents walk me down the isle...part of me likes the traditional idea of having my father give me away...but the other part of me says they are both my parents, and I want to give my mom that same honor.
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I personally love when a bride chooses to do that! They both raised you!
At most weddings I have been to, they stay up with the bride until the minister asks "who gives this woman to be with this man.." and then usually the father says ''Her mother and I do." They usually hug/cheek kiss and then go to their seats. |
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My Mom was my MOH..but if she wasn''t I would have had both walk me down the aisle to honor them both, so I think that''s a great thing to do. One of them would hand your hand to your FI''s and lift your veil. Both could kiss your cheek or one of them..and then they''d answer the "who gives this woman question" (if you''re having it), say something to you and your FI if they want, hug, and go to their seats. That order may not be perfect, but it''s an idea.
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I felt the same way, but my Mum actually wants to sit there in the front pew and watch her husband escort her daughter down the isle. It''s important for her. Ask you Mum how she feels, she may feel the same way.
We are having both our Mum''s do a reading, so they can play their own special part in the wedding. |
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It is a great honor to walk your daughter down the isle but it's also a great joy to be seated at the front and WATCH your daughter get escorted down the isle. I would prefer to watch my daughter come down the isle, to see her face and imagine her joy, to see the pride in her father's eyes. It's such a special trip. I want to watch it happen but not be part of it. I took my trip down the isle years ago and feel it'd be her turn.
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Wow, thank you for opening my eyes to this part of it all....I will ask my Mom and see what she says about it. |
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So what happens when you don''t particularly want your father to walk to down the aisle?
I would choose to have my mother and father do it if I could. But it will be a bone of contention with my father if I don''t let him do it I think. My Mum is saying I can walk down by myself after my bridesmaids if I so wish, but I know my Dad will have something to say about that, plus, that walk alone? Scary much? It''s a tricky situation. My Mum and Dad divorced when I was 14 and I have never been overly close to my Dad. I would have chosen my Step-Father to do it if I could as he has been the one to really provide for me since I was in mt teens. He graciously stepped back and told me to let my Dad do it. Dilemma or what? Sorry to thread jack, but it is something I have been contemplating for months now. I personally LOVE the idea of both parents walking you down the aisle. But I do see the point about the mother watching as she had her turn years ago. Very true... |
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In theory I will be following the Jewish tradition and my FI and I will be walked down by both our parents. I say in theory because it turns out my dad is a tool and he probably will not show, so in that case it will just be my mom. I am really happy with this because she basically raised me on her own anyway. Once we get down the aisle, I assume I will do a check kiss and then she will hand me off to my FI.
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As others have mentioned, in Jewish tradition often both parents walk the bride down the aisle - this is what I did. My parents are divorced and each wanted to walk down with their new spouses so my mom walked down with my stepfather, then my dad walked down with my stepmother, then my mom and dad each went out exits by the front of the aisle and came back around to meet me. They walked me down the aisle together which was really important to me. (It probably looked weird to guests that my mom and dad walked down twice with other people, but all I wanted was for the two of them to walk me down the aisle so I didn''t care if it looked strange to other people). At the end of the aisle my mom and dad stopped a little before the chuppah and my DH came down to meet me and walked with me up the rest of the way (maybe 10 or 15 feet) to the chuppah.
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merrymunky, tricky situation indeed! I am not sure i could walk down the aisle myself only because of nerves. He still is your dad, even though you are not close, so maybe at least having him as a person to walk with you to help with nerves is a good thing. Then your mom and step dad can watch you walk down :)
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That''s true. I do get on with him and I DO love him...but we are not really close. We only speak to each other once every few weeks, or couple of months on the phone. I see him less than once a year. This last year I have seen him twice already as he has visited from London and stayed with my mum and step dad. (Yeah, odd situation eh?!) I know come the day I will be fne and I will be thankful for him being there. |
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Swingirl - this brought tears to my eyes. My mother expressed similar sentiments to me when I asked if she wanted to walk me down with my father. Instead, we are having both mothers light the individual candles to be used in the Unity Candle creremony. |
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This is what we did as well, it was a nice way to honor both mothers! And before most couples started paying for the wedding themselves, the bride''s family typically paid for everything...and in that case, the mother of the bride''s official function and honor was ''hostess'' for the reception. That''s not always the case anymore however! |
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I also had both, and I just gave each of my parents a hug at the end. I didn''t do the unveiling thing because I didn''t wear my veil as a blusher. I wouldn''t have it any other way! I''m a staunch feminist, and I wanted to get away from the "one man gives the girl away to another man" paradigm. Both of my parents raised me, and it was equally important that both walk me down the aisle.
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I like the idea of just my dad (probably from all those traditional weddings & movies & whatnot), but it means a lot to my mom. She raised me, too, and she has put so much ino the wedding & the shower. As previously mentioned, it''s also a Jewish tradition, and she was raised in a household with one Jewish paret & one Catholic parent. But in all seriousness, she had more to do with the woman I grew up to be than my dad. Don''t get me wrong, he provided everything I needed growing up, took me fixing, built me a swingset, but it''s my mom who was there every day, who took care of me when I was sick, and whose advice I still always seek. They both have a place next to me.
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