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Etiquette for Opening Cash Gifts?

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Fleur

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Feb 23, 2008
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Tonight I was "surprised" by my colleagues with a lovely party to celebrate our upcoming wedding (May 23rd.) I really had no clue this was a party for us as periodically one of our senior management will have a party at her home. I just thought it was one of those. My FI had no idea either. None of these people are invited to my wedding. We only have about 18 people coming to our very small wedding. FI and I have said from the beginning we don''t expect gifts. We haven''t registered anywhere. We just want those invited to attend and everyone else to wish us well.

It was very pleasant and after dinner FI and I were seated in two chairs and "funny" gifts were presented to us. Each had a funny little description. No names were attached and I thought they were created by the hostess because she''s very creative. We all had a laugh, it was fun, and I thought it was over. Then the hostess gave me a card and said something like "those were just for fun, here''s our real gift." I open the card and everyone has signed it (about 15 people) and there was a visa gift card in there.

So I thanked everyone. FI thanked everyone. I said a few words about what a great place it is to work where your colleagues are so generous and thoughtful to plan something like this and contribute to a gift. But I didn''t look at the gift card or check the amount at that time. I feel uncomfortable "checking out" money in front of people because it makes me feel greedy. But I got the sense that the hostess was disappointed/upset that something wasn''t said more directly about the amount.

When we got home I said to FI, well, I am curious let''s see what''s on the card. OMG, I almost fell off the couch! The card was for $500. YIKES. Of course I said to FI, well we''ll be writing thank you notes to each one of these people this weekend. But now I wonder if I should have been more intentional about checking out the amount and making more of a "to do" while opening the gift?

What are your thoughts about how to handle cash/gift card gifts if you''re opening them in a group situation? Could we have done this better?
 

Blair138

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Apr 8, 2008
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I think what you did was appropriate. When opening cash gifts, I never acknowledge the amount especially in large groups. If all of the people whom you thanked gave you the gift together, then they all probably know how much was given. It is appropriate to graciously thank them in the card.

Maybe one of the ''etiquette mavens'' will respond, I''m not sure if I am correct but I think what you did was appropriate.
 

LadyBlue

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Mar 14, 2009
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Wow!!! Congratulations for your future wedding, and was absolutly very nice what did your colleagues do. I think what you did was the best way to do. And the thank you card will be a great way to thank everybody for the present.
Congratulations again
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mrscushion

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Nov 15, 2008
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Nice colleagues!

I would think you did the right thing. In your thank you notes, you can make the point that you think they are very, very generous.
 

Kelli

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May 27, 2008
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WOW! How nice for you! I would have handled it the same way. Just express your gratitude in the notes.
 

bee*

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I think that you handled it brilliantly. I always get so awkward opening gifts in front of people. Sending a great thank you note to them will be fab.
 

ams0124

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I agree with the other ladies. I would have done the same thing you did in that situation...I think it would have been weird if you actually acknowledged the amount in front of everyone...Saying something like "Thank you so much for the $500" no matter how gracious you were, would have sounded tacky.

Send your thank you's to each of them...and when you see them all again maybe say thank you again face to face/one on one

You must mean a lot to the people you work with for them to be so generous...I think that says a great deal about your character.
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Anastasia

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Mar 23, 2005
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Wow, what a generous gift! It sounds like you must work in a very nice place and that your coworkers think highly of you.

I think you handled it perfectly. I agree that it is tacky to discuss the amount of the gift in front of everyone. Your plan is perfect. Write the thank you notes this weekend thanking everyone for their extremely generous gift. I think that a prompt and sincere thank you note is the perfect way to handle it.
 

ilovesparkles

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Feb 13, 2006
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What you did was perfect. I refuse to look at or acknowledge the actual amount of a cash gift. I think its rude. I have seen some people that do, or make a big deal out of the amount, and its tacky. Perhaps just be over the top thankful with gratitude to the host. And like someone else said, thank them all in person again in addition to the thank you cards.

Now, if we could all be so lucky!
 

mayachel

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Mar 2, 2008
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Wow! How wonderful. It sounds like you handled it perfectly. Would you have been less gracious in your acknowledgment if it had been for $25? I''d hazard you''d have done just the same
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Hudson_Hawk

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I think you handled the situation perfectly. I feel when you open a GC, cash, check, etc. You shouldn't make a big deal out of it. No one needs to know how much you got-especially others who may have gifted in cash as well. I usually don't even look at the amount. One thing I ALWAYS do, as soon as I see it's a gift of the aforementioned type, is I look them in the eye and say thank you very much. I think it lets them know that you saw and acknowledge the gift. This is usually because I'll read the card and then put it back in the envelope pretty quickly(so the $ doesn't get lost).
 

luvthemstrawberries

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Date: 5/14/2009 11:34:20 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think you handled the situation perfectly. I feel when you open a GC, cash, check, etc. You shouldn''t make a big deal out of it. No one needs to know how much you got-especially others who may have gifted in cash as well. I usually don''t even look at the amount. One thing I ALWAYS do, as soon as I see it''s a gift of the aforementioned type, is I look them in the eye and say thank you very much. I think it lets them know that you saw and acknowledge the gift. This is usually because I''ll read the card and then put it back in the envelope pretty quickly(so the $ doesn''t get lost).
Ditto - if it''s one person presenting it to me, I''ll maybe take a look at it and thank them then and there, but I don''t think it''s ever necessary to mention the amount aloud at any time, no matter the situation. You can thank them for their generosity in the notes. And if it was one person presenting it, I''d thank them very graciously then and there too. But I think you did exactly what you should have.
 

Italiahaircolor

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Dec 16, 2007
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I honestly think you did nothing wrong...and you handled yourself with class--it would have been tacky if you have fawned over the money in front of everyone. But now I would put the pen to the paper and write out really appreciative thank you notes--refering to the gift card, gag gift and their personal generosity. Make each note really stand out by including personal touches...because their gift was incredibly generous.
 

Fleur

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 23, 2008
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60
Thanks, everyone for your thoughtful responses. It''s such an awkward situation so I''m glad we handled it appropriately. Trust me, everyone is getting an individual thank you note signed by both of us! (Of course, I''ll actually write them. That''s not FI''s favorite thing. LOL!!!)

Thank you ams0124 and anastasia for your kind words.
 
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