Does the maid of honor have to pay for her own dress?
| Does the maid of honor have to pay for her own dress? |
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I''m the maid of honor at my best friends wedding on May 22nd and I don''t have a dress yet. There will be no bridesmaids so I have a lot of freedom in what type of dress I can choose. The couple is saying pale yellow, pale salmon or pink. However I''m between jobs and don''t have alot of money at the moment and don''t know how I''m going to be able to afford a dress, shoes etc. Whats should I do? As far as I know I''m supposed to take care of the cost right?
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by glitterata » March 23rd, 2004, 5:27 am
Traditionally, you pay for the dress. However, if you're broke, maybe you should talk to the bride about chipping in. Another idea is to borrow a dress, since you have some leeway in style. Do you have any friends or relatives with nice pink-yellow-salmon dresses?
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In most traditions, the Maid of Honor is left with the honor (and burden) of the dress for herself, shoes, hair, jewlery, etc...as well as the Bridal shower plans and the bachelorette party plans and expenses. Sort of sucks for them, but usually they are the "closest" to the bride and that is sort of the gift that they give. If you truly can't make the dress in a cheap way, and trust me there ARE ways, let the couple know your situation, maybe she can help you shop around for a cheaper gown, or maybe you can reuse what you might have...? Put it this way, it it TOTALLY possible to get a great MOH or BM dress for less...My sister's wedding, I was the Maid of Honor, and still quite poor, that I went to Century 21 (in NYC) and found not only my black crepe and creme satin VERA WANG for $75, but also found 4 more for the bridesmaides... I got the shoes at Aldo at $25, and so my WHOLE outfit was about $100. Not bad. That dress is still wearable today (unlike all the other 5 BM dresses rotting in my closet), and I can totally attest that it's doable!!! Try sample sales, try discount places, try clearance sections of malls, and department stores that carry higher end dresses for less...sometimes Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Century 21, etc, carry dresses that are stunners and real cheap. My friend got her BM dress at David Bridal Clearance for $80...? I also engineered the BM's of my uncle's wedding (where I was also a BM) with all matching dresses from Victoria's Secret for $75 on sale. Totally doable!
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Here's the lilac dress we used for the girls at my uncle's wedding...They are great!, and i think I had some $25 off $100 coupon at the time...anyway, they can be pricy, but I saw another one fairly cheap...If you have any certain price range (no matter how low) let me know, I LOVE searching for things on sale!!!!
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Thanks for the ideas. Borrowing could work if I can find a dress in one of my friends wardrobes that is the right color and size. I'm kind of on the smallish size (4). I'm going to ask around though. I couldn't afford more than $100 for my entire outfit, and I don't see my financial situation changing by may 22. If you hear of any good sales let me know.
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Here's a Satin Chiffon Scarf Dress, also same colors available from Chadwick's as well...for the same $ http://www.the-best-e-shopping.com/m_links/chadwicks_social_dresses.html
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Check eBay! Sometimes BM dresses go for around $20 on there or something! I would also caution one thing. Sometimes in pictures, any picture, the dress may look like it's beautiful and then you see it in person and ay carumba! Cheapo material, too shiny, too gaudy, too thin, etc. We had this happen with a beautiful dress in the picture, in person we had trouble believing it was the SAME dress and not some horribly scratchy polyester replica. So unless you know what it looks like, purchase sight-unseen with caution. Also check out thrift stores. Lucky for you, pink and pastels are HUGE in the stores right now. You may get lucky. Check out cheaper, more basic stores too. Like a Rampage or a Forever21. They have alot of crap but sometimes a simple long slip dress works well and their stuff can be very low priced. Shop for your shoes at a DSW or an outlet or similar, or even on eBay! Though if you have silver shoes or champagne shoes or similar already, you can probably use those with a gown that is a pastel or a pink or yellow. Unfortunately, when one accepts the MOH designation (hence the bride 'asking'), they take on the numerous financial responsibilities too. When I have been MOH, the total I end up spending usually when all is said and done (clothes, parties, wedding gifts, etc) is around $1k. So it's not cheap to be a MOH!!
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Dear Innerkitten,
Hey, you can also shop for and use Prom dresses for this event since Prom dresses are traditionally long. I purchased all my bridesmaids a dress just because I wanted to do it. Regardless of tradition, I think it helps my friends out too and I guess I think it is a nice gesture. Anyway, you can shop at any mall store. Some may even be running sales. Another place to get a good designer dress is to go to Nordstrom Rack. They will have last season's dresses by well known designers. You will have to examine the shape of the dress since it's been on the rack and tried on by who knows how many people. I got my bridesmaid dresses at Marshall Field's this past week for less than $100 each. Traditionally most makers make bridesmaid dresses longer than the average height and I didn't want to bother anybody with hemming (all my bridesmaids are around 5'5" or under) so I got Prom dresses instead. The ones I purchased were satin, all lined, and cost me less than $100 each. Sometimes I think traditions are easier to break for me. All of my close friends have been wonderful, and I didn't think it was right for me to make them pay for an expensive dress that I picked out. I guess I could deduct that money off my future ring purchase, but it is well worth it. Good luck with the dress hunt!  http://www.target.com/gp/browse.html/602-7400428-0850231?node=10832681 |
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Loehmann's, Marshalls, T.J. Maxx - all good places to go. You have to pound the pavement a little more - but good deals abound! And, try vintage, consignment & thrift stores in the more affluent areas of town.
Good luck. Your budget is very doable. For shoes, try estate sales & yard sales - that may sound gross - but you will probably find a bunch of worn only once or even never shoes. |
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I second Ebay - check out these (I don't know your size, so these may be wrong):
Size 10 pale yellow bm dress - $20! long yellow dress w/ rhinestone straps - $50 gorgeous satin yellow dress (sz 12) - $30 more to come... |
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oh oops - you did say you were 4... will look for smaller dresses (although if it's cheap enough maybe you could have it fitted a little?)
This looks great: Size 4 pale yellow long dress Here is a Vera Wang which says it's a 10 but obviously runs VERY small: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2899197580&category=3262 |
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Here's some..a few are slightly scary but a few cute ones! this *may* be nice: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2898316420&category=3262 pretty and very simple: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2898780450&category=3262 hehe stretchy velvet: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2899228714&category=3262 another pretty spring dress: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2898566283&category=3262 |
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Last one... looks bright yellow but I think the lighting is bad:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2899480752&category=3061 |
Thank you.
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Here is the dress that Sahai (the bride) has asked me to wear, It's very simple as you can see. Her husband thinks the maid of honor dress should be simple cause the brides dress should be the one that stands out, so there you have it. Sahai became a lot more involved with the choosing of the dress after she saw what the flower girls would be wearing and she wanted it to all work together which makes sense. It's not the greatest dress but I think I can dress it up with nice shoes and I get to wear a white shawl which should look cute.
http://www.jcrew.com/catalog/product.jhtml?id=prod63963891&catId=cat57315 |
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