Calling all Plus Size brides...

[Cassian]

what did you do to maximize your sexiness before the wedding? did you have any self conscious moments? for those of you who had a complex, did you even care on your wedding day?

i have been working out and losing some weight to get ready for my wedding, and i thought i was doing well and looking great, then i had my bridal shower this weekend. i almost cried when i saw the pictures because i just looked so much heavier than i feel, and i didn''t realize that i still appeared that way. now i am dreading the wedding pictures. i am completely deflated now, but i have a new resolve after seeing those pictures, but i am looking for some more motivation to feel beautiful again. anything will help. anyone go through this or have success stories?

 

[Lorelei]

I am so sorry you don't feel good, but many of us have been there. How long before your wedding? Have you ever seen our weekly workout thread? It is full of friendly advice and motivation, it may give you a place to go where to find encouragement? Maybe your regime needs some tweaking, doing cardio effectively is the best way to burn fat, could you give us a briefing on your eating patterns and workout regime? Maybe you aren't working out to your best advantage, also an idea may be to join a gym if you haven't already done so, and if finances permit, hire a personal trainer. Some of the gals on the WWT have done so to max their results.

 

[nytemist]

I''m heavier now than I''ve ever been. The past two-ish years have been tough on me, (my dad passing, finishing school, planning a wedding) so I haven''t been working out as a should and have been loving my comfort food. During the fall I will be back to working out and eating the way I''m supposed to.

But, for my wedding I was fine with how I looked. I had the kind of dress I wanted made and it was cleavage and curves central. My hair was gorgeous. I looked pretty damn good. I think sexiness was on high because I was happy with the fit and the color of the dress. The crinoline underskirt helped balance me out.

 

[Selkie]

I can think of many brides on here who consider themselves plus-size, and who all looked beautiful. You definitely don''t have to be a size 2 to be gorgeous. Do you have your dress yet? Make sure your dress fits well and suits your body type, and that you are comfortable in it. Like Nytemist said, play up the features you are proud of, and look for balance and proportion.

I''m a size 18-20. I started working out over a year before the wedding, and wasn''t losing as much or as quickly as I wanted. Every time I saw pictures of myself I got discouraged because I FELT thinner than I looked in the pictures. A couple months before the wedding, I decided to splurge on 10 sessions with a personal trainer at my gym (24 Hour Fitness), and told her what I wanted to focus on. My dress was strapless, so for me it was shoulders, upper arms, and back. I really think it helped even though I will never again be the buff 22-year-old rower I once was!

I also had a friend take "practice" photos of me wearing the dress and/or makeup so I could play with posing, and get comfortable with the camera. I was still a little self-conscious at the wedding, at least earlier in the day, but I sort of pretended to be confident. On top of that, we were just having a complete blast and I spent the day grinning from ear to ear. At some point, I just got over it, and that, plus an AMAZING photographer, gave us many photos where I honestly feel I looked beautiful. I think you''ll be fine!

 

[Independent Gal]

Nytemist! You knockout! Brideliscious.

Not sure I ever saw your wedding pics, but just, well, WOW.

Sorry for the threadjack. But I agree that I''ve never seen a bride on here that considered herself plus sized that looked even an ounce less gorgeous on her wedding day than she would if she had weighed a few pounds less. Maybe I''m silly, but never mind brides, I see just as many seriously gorgeous girls who are bigger as seriously gorgeous girls who are skinny. And being a bride gives you that extra glow.

But while you may look gorgeous, the important thing is to FEEL gorgeous. Hope the gals on here can give you suggestions. For me, I feel most beautiful when I am feeling confident about something.

 

[nytemist]

Thank you IG! And I agree... it was all in how I felt that day.

Cassian, if you''re feeling really good and think you look hot it will show on your face and make you look even better!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 8/27/2007 8:38:30 AM
Author:Cassian
what did you do to maximize your sexiness before the wedding? did you have any self conscious moments? for those of you who had a complex, did you even care on your wedding day?

i have been working out and losing some weight to get ready for my wedding, and i thought i was doing well and looking great, then i had my bridal shower this weekend. i almost cried when i saw the pictures because i just looked so much heavier than i feel, and i didn''t realize that i still appeared that way. now i am dreading the wedding pictures. i am completely deflated now, but i have a new resolve after seeing those pictures, but i am looking for some more motivation to feel beautiful again. anything will help. anyone go through this or have success stories?

I feel the EXACT same way, so just know that you''re not alone in this. I''m so nervous to try my dress on during fittings next year. I get the once-over from my mom occasionally, and recently she told me that she was sad for me. That didn''t really help but it''s happened before. We just got our engagement proofs back and I''m not too happy with how I look. I know I have a lot to lose but it''s SO noticeable in these pictures. My photographer keeps telling me that the proofs haven''t been touched up and once we get the final pictures back, they''ll look much better. I hope she''s a wonder at touch ups!

I''ll be following this thread closely because I need as much motivation as you do. It''s funny, I was thinking of posting a similar thread.

 

[zoebartlett]

I did think of one thing that seems to be helping. My doctor and I have had the same conversation for a really long time now and it was getting a little old. Her: "So, Zoe, how are you doing?" Me: "I could be doing better." After a while of this, she finally told me that she wanted to check in with me every 4-6 weeks to follow up with how I was doing with weight loss, nutrition, anxiety, etc. I just went for another check up today and I had lost 5 pounds since my last visit. I was psyched! Today was the first day in months that I saw her and didn''t break down in tears when she asked me how I was doing.

Maybe setting up this type of monthly check in with your doctor would help.

Also, I know the WWT helps a lot of people, but I feel like I am on a completely different level than everyone else. Maybe we could check in with each other, here (or begin a new thread)? I''d be willing to do that if you''d like.

 

[HollyS]

On a good day, I''m a 14. On a bad day, I''m barely 16. Am I concerned? You bet; mainly because I''m middle-aged and it seems that the pounds have been directly related to mid-life changes, and they''re packing on pretty quickly.

Am I going to be svelte by the big day? Nope, that''s what the make Spanx for I guess!

But seriously, my FI loves me that way I am, and tells me I''m beautiful every day. I suspect your FI feels that way about you, too. Dave and I both want to be a bit thinner, and together we plan on adjusting our lifestyle to accomodate those mid-life health issues; but we aren''t going to let a little too much tushy and a few love handles stop us from enjoying our day. So cheer up and focus on being in love, and you will be radiant! All you have to do is look at the many pages of wedding photos here on PS to know that; not everyone was a size 2 when they got married, and EVERYONE was beautiful!

I tell you, I''m more concerned I might have frizzy hair, helmet head, bad makeup, or contact lens problems which might cause my eyes to be red and runny! The extra pounds are not my big nightmare.

 

[Nicki]

You betcha...the good news is that we''re eloping...the bad news is that we''ll be announcing our marriage through photos.

I went out on a HUGE limb (for me, anyway) with the dress I chose. It has spaghetti straps, and I''m ridiculously self-conscious about my arms. (Dangly arm backs are hereditary in my family). I''m scared that I''ll look awful in the photos. I think the day of the wedding, though, I''m going to be so happy that it''s finally here and so excited to see my FI all dressed up, that I''ll forget all about how my arms look.

 

[Nicki]

Date: 8/27/2007 9:48:47 AM
Author: nytemist
I''m heavier now than I''ve ever been. The past two-ish years have been tough on me, (my dad passing, finishing school, planning a wedding) so I haven''t been working out as a should and have been loving my comfort food. During the fall I will be back to working out and eating the way I''m supposed to.

But, for my wedding I was fine with how I looked. I had the kind of dress I wanted made and it was cleavage and curves central. My hair was gorgeous. I looked pretty damn good. I think sexiness was on high because I was happy with the fit and the color of the dress. The crinoline underskirt helped balance me out.

You look gorgeous in this photo! That dress colour is so flattering!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/27/2007 5:41:21 PM
Author: Nicki
You betcha...the good news is that we''re eloping...the bad news is that we''ll be announcing our marriage through photos.

I went out on a HUGE limb (for me, anyway) with the dress I chose. It has spaghetti straps, and I''m ridiculously self-conscious about my arms. (Dangly arm backs are hereditary in my family). I''m scared that I''ll look awful in the photos. I think the day of the wedding, though, I''m going to be so happy that it''s finally here and so excited to see my FI all dressed up, that I''ll forget all about how my arms look.

What about one of those sheer wraps in the same color as the dress for a little help in that area. Off the shoulder, tucked under each arm and maybe tied loosely in the back? Showing off a nice neck, emphasizing "the girls" because those of us with a little more bounce to each ounce have some pretty nice "girls".

 

[Nicki]

Date: 8/27/2007 6:29:25 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/27/2007 5:41:21 PM

Author: Nicki

You betcha...the good news is that we''re eloping...the bad news is that we''ll be announcing our marriage through photos.


I went out on a HUGE limb (for me, anyway) with the dress I chose. It has spaghetti straps, and I''m ridiculously self-conscious about my arms. (Dangly arm backs are hereditary in my family). I''m scared that I''ll look awful in the photos. I think the day of the wedding, though, I''m going to be so happy that it''s finally here and so excited to see my FI all dressed up, that I''ll forget all about how my arms look.

What about one of those sheer wraps in the same color as the dress for a little help in that area. Off the shoulder, tucked under each arm and maybe tied loosely in the back? Showing off a nice neck, emphasizing ''the girls'' because those of us with a little more bounce to each ounce have some pretty nice ''girls''.

That''s a great idea!!! Any idea where I could look for something like that?

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/27/2007 7:29:35 PM
Author: Nicki

Date: 8/27/2007 6:29:25 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/27/2007 5:41:21 PM

Author: Nicki

You betcha...the good news is that we''re eloping...the bad news is that we''ll be announcing our marriage through photos.


I went out on a HUGE limb (for me, anyway) with the dress I chose. It has spaghetti straps, and I''m ridiculously self-conscious about my arms. (Dangly arm backs are hereditary in my family). I''m scared that I''ll look awful in the photos. I think the day of the wedding, though, I''m going to be so happy that it''s finally here and so excited to see my FI all dressed up, that I''ll forget all about how my arms look.

What about one of those sheer wraps in the same color as the dress for a little help in that area. Off the shoulder, tucked under each arm and maybe tied loosely in the back? Showing off a nice neck, emphasizing ''the girls'' because those of us with a little more bounce to each ounce have some pretty nice ''girls''.

That''s a great idea!!! Any idea where I could look for something like that?

Of course - if you bought the dress at a bridal shop -- they can order. But, you might look at your local department stores or online department stores for their summer clearance items. You see alot of these ivory or white sheer shawls around prom time through the summer. JC Penney had a ton in my local store. Also, there are many bridal online shops selling accessories including wraps.

 

[HollyS]

Nikki:

Love this one from David''s Bridal. Do you have one close by where you live?

 

[HollyS]

Also, try www.bridalpeople.com

They had some frosted organza, some satin, some pashmina style.

 

[HollyS]

And from JC Penney:

 

[HollyS]

Or JC Penney again:

 

[Cassian]

Wow guys, you all have helped lift my spirits.

it is really hard for me sometimes. i used to be a thin 120lbs, and then i had to take medication for 8 years, and it packed on 100 pounds, just from the meds. i still haven''t completely ever become ok with that, and my self esteem took a HUGE hit because of that, and i have never regained the esteem i once had, no matter what people tell me. plus, my mom is always on me about how i look. not mean spirited, her comments come from a place of love and concern, but she is always commenting on my weight, saying if i did this i would lose more, etc., just little things that really really get to me. i already feel bad about it, she definitely doesn''t help.
most of the time i feel gorgeous. my fiance thinks i am beautiful, he tells me all the time, and all my friends do too, but my mom was just in town for my bridal shower, so she left me super sensitive about the whole thing.

zoe, i would love to start a new thread for motivation. my wedding is Oct. 13th, about 6 1/2 weeks away. i lift weights regularly, but don''t do as much cardio as i should.
i love my dress, its strapless, which is out of my comfort zone, but that''s why i love it. cause i feel sexy in it.

nytemist, you look beautiful in that picture. i guess i am just so judgemental about my own self, i just need to build up more confidence in myself no matter how i look. i have actually gained a couple pounds since i bought my dress, but i still have some time to lose them again. here is a pic of me the day my dress came in. it fit really well there. its all wrinkly but you get the idea. i just meed to lose those couple pounds to get back there.
anyway, thanks for all the support out there. its nice to know there are others our there going through the same thing.

 

[Independent Gal]

Are you KIDDING ME?! First of all you have the skin I always dreamed of. So creeeeamy. It is the absolute most beautiful of the lighter shades that humans come in, IMHO. Second of all, you're just plain LOVELY. And third of all, that dress is perfect on you. Like, perfect. You simply look divine.

You will be a simply stunning bride. I swear it's true or I'll eat my hat.

ETA: Your missing one important accessory in that pic though... a BIG SMILE.

 

[Elmorton]

WOW! You look stunning in that dress!!!!!!

As a plus size bride, I worried a lot before the wedding about how I''d feel the day of. Like you, I pumped up my workout regimen, but even with my trainer I only shed about 10-20 lbs (depending on the month) over a year (that made a big difference in the dress, though!). What I got from my workouts wasn''t really weight loss but self-esteem. The "me" time and just feeling stronger and healthier made a big impact on how I felt in the days preceeding the wedding. I definitely recommend working out, but don''t get bogged down in the results you want to see on the outside.

Here''s what I have to say about the wedding day, though: I have never felt more beautiful in my life - without a doubt, you will too. Just seeing the way my husband, my friends, and my family looked at me made me know that the way I felt on the inside was radiating on the outside. I''m not an ultra-romantic person, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I''ve never felt prettier (or more thin, haha! My dress is the only thing I''ve ever worn that gave me a figure!).

When I saw the pictures of our wedding day, I was like you at your shower - a little bummed. I felt like few photos from the wedding really captured how THIN I felt! It was a bit of a reality check - oops, I really was a full-figured bride. But, after a week...I came around. I had some beautiful photos of a beautiful bride (and you will too - shoot, you look ready to walk down the aisle now! That''s gorgeous dress, so flattering!).

 

[Mandarine]

Ditto what IG said!!!

You look great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...you are missing a smile in there though!!!!

Seriosuly though, you look great so you have to work more on how you see yourself rather than worrying about losing last minute pounds!. I know we are more judgmental on ourselves than we are with other people. It happens to me all the time.

When I went to college I ganied a lot of weight....I was a size 14 at one point (and at my highest that was even tight). Anyway, eventually I lost weight (slowly, but I did it the good old fashion way!). Now I''m still judgemental of myself!!. When I opened the box with my dress today and I saw it I said "there is no way I''m fitting in here!". My sister always says she has no idea what I see sometimes when I see myself, because I should see a fit girl!. Well, I don''t ...or I didn''t....I''ve been working on it EVERYDAY and been doing better. This has been harder than losing the weight! Believe it or not. People will see right through you and if you feel amazing, that''s what they will see too.

So my one piece of advice to you is to start working on that right now. Of course you should do the best you can to feel great...maybe start an exercise routine, try to eat healthier foods, etc....but start working on the inside too...right now!. Every morning when you get up say to yourself "I''m going to be a beautiful bride"...imagine yourself feeling absolutely gorgeous and glowing that day and everyday!. Our minds are just amazing and eventually you won''t have to think it anymore, you will just feel it.

You are a beautiful bride-to-be and will look stunning on your wedding day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M~

 

[Harleigh]

Oh, Cassian, you will be a stunning bride!

First and foremost, your FI loves you because you''re YOU, and if that''s not a boost of confidence, I don''t know what is!

Your dress is simply beautiful on you, and you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about!

You need to find confidence in yourself, as well as in the love your FI has for you, to know that you are gorgeous and you have nothing to worry about!

I know it''s so much easier said than done, but know all of us here think your dress is stunning, and that is because YOU are in it! You have beautiful coloring and your dress is to die for!

Be proud of yourself and be happy at this special moment in time that is yours alone...

Good luck, my friend, and know that you have all of us supporting you, any day, any time!

 

[Minny]

WOW -- you look fantastic. I don''t think you need to change a thing!

 

[Haven]

First of all--Nytemist you looked gorgeous on your wedding day! KNOCKOUT!

And Cassian--look at you! You have a great figure, that dress is STUNNING on you, and it makes your waist look teeny tiny! I think you look beautiful in your dress, and I''m sure you FI will, too. I know we are harder on ourselves and we see more flaws than anyone else ever will, but girl, you look GREAT!

I will say that it sounds like you were feeling really good about yourself before you saw those pictures, and I can totally relate. However, in the end, feeling great really is the best thing. I started the Body for Life program eight weeks ago with my sister and it''s really great because it''s a strict diet and exercise program, but since I''m doing it with my sister we totally support each other and keep each other motivated. AND the WWT here on PS is great--TONS of support there, too.

Seriously, though, you look amazing, and you''ll look amazing on your wedding day.

 

[Selkie]

Whoa. YOU. ARE. GORGEOUS. That dress is perfect on you! You are on the right track with working out, and feeling healthy and confident. Moms are great, but so many of them have that compulsion to make "helpful" and "concerned" remarks that do nothing for our confidence. I swear that if I ever have a child, I WILL not do that to them

.

This thread is making think about how when we post wedding pics here or on sites like the Knot, I bet most people pick the ones they feel are most flattering. I''m thinking I''ll start a thread where people post the pics they like least, or in which they are making silly faces or something, just to show that nobody is perfect.

 

[Nicki]

Date: 8/27/2007 7:42:18 PM
Author: HollyS
Nikki:

Love this one from David''s Bridal. Do you have one close by where you live?

Oh wow!!!! I LOVE this one, and the beading would go extremely well with my dress. I''ll check to see if I have a David''s Bridal in the area (probably do, they''re everywhere!) Thanks!!!!!!

 

[Cassian]

Thank you for all your kind words. What i am realizing is that the majority of my problem is in my own head. i do need to revamp my thinking. that picture was last year, and i was glowing, and i know i will be too on my wedding day, i just need to get my mind in gear and stop being so damn critical of myself.

Selkie, i think that thread is an awesome idea. i think it would be very cathartic for people to own their less than attractive photos by posting them. i know it would be for me. i would say, here i am, i am far from perfect, and that''s just fine.

 

[Nicki]

Cassian, you look just gorgeous in that dress!

 

[HollyS]

Cassian: You look MUCH better than I did when they poured me into the strapless ballgowns at David''s. Not my style, but you can certainly pull it off. Look at those lovely shoulders with that perfect peaches and cream skin! The rest of us just look blotchy by comparison! Play to your strengths, jazz up your best assets, and put one of those "i"m in love and marrying the best guy in the world" smiles on your pretty face and be radiant. We all think you''re beautiful and we aren''t even in love with you!