Bridesmaid Questions- Tradition?

[misysu2]

Quick Question-- In general, is the bride or are the bridesmaids responsible for paying for the bridesmaid dresses? I''m so clueless sometimes.

 

[Haven]

The bridesmaid is responsible for paying for her dress, shoes, and any other accessories she may need for the wedding day. It is lovely for a bride and groom to pay for these things, but with large wedding parties this can be prohibitively expensive, and it certainly is not expected.

One nice thing to do is to tell your bridal party that their participation in the wedding is the greatest gift they could give, and that you do not expect any other gift from them. You could do this by saying something to that effect some time during the planning, or even at the rehearsal dinner if they have not yet sent a gift by that time. I'm always shocked when I stand up in a wedding and the couple still expects gifts from all the attendants. (That is, some brides have complained to me about the small gifts they received from the other attendants, which I find to be simply unbelievable.)

 

[misysu2]

Thanks Haven. What a great idea to talk to your attendants about gift expectations. I''m sure they''ll appreciate that, especially since one of my BMs will be flying!

 

[Haven]

I think it''s a very nice thing to do, especially since it is so wonderful to have them in your wedding in the first place.

My only concern is that I''ve already stood up in two of my bridesmaids'' weddings, and neither of them told me that standing up was the gift, and we gave them very nice wedding gifts. I hope they don''t take my sentiment as a negative and think that I thought they were being selfish by not doing the same with their attendants. Ah, well, if they do they''ll have to deal!

 

[qtiekiki]

Traditions say the BMs pay for everything, unless you are Chinese. I think, traditionally, Chinese would rent or buy their BMs the dresses. Not 100% sure, but I bought my BMs their dresses.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m not sure what the case is here in the UK, as far as I know I am buying the dresses and shoes - (satin ballet shoes). I suppose it''s possible the parents will reimburse me - which would be nice - but I have budgeted for the dresses all along. My BM''s are all under 12 though so it shouldn''t be too expensive I hope!

 

[Dandi]

I kind of compromised with my 4 BMs. I picked a dress and shoes that I liked but they chose more expensive dresses that they far preferred, so they paid for the dresses and I bought their shoes, jewellery, and I am paying for their hair and makeup. In addition I''ve told them not too worry about a gift, their gift to me is being my BMs!