9/11 Wedding Date

[mrscushion]

I just got back from a week in Italy to scout wedding locations. We have a few very strong contenders. Not all of them are available on my preferred date, 9/4/2010. The next choice (for weather reasons) would be the following Saturday... which happens to be the anniversary of 9/11. Half of the guests will be American, half European.

Question: do you think a 9/11 wedding date is okay? Would you think it''s a strange date? How strange?

 

[wannaBMrsH]

I voted for the first option, it''s OK, but I don''t think it''s okay, I think it''s great! If that''s your wedding date then at least you and your loved ones will have new and happy memories to associate with that date.

Unless you are directly affected (you were in the twin towers or your family works for the Port Authority Police or Fire), I think that it is great to give people something to celebrate on that day.

With time others are bound to have weddings on those dates as well. We don''t stop getting married on Pearl Harbor Day or V-Day or any other...this is your wedding! Celebrate it and it''s not ok, IT''S GREAT!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 7/31/2009 12:34:35 PM
Author: wannaBMrsH
I voted for the first option, it''s OK, but I don''t think it''s okay, I think it''s great! If that''s your wedding date then at least you and your loved ones will have new and happy memories to associate with that date.

Unless you are directly affected (you were in the twin towers or your family works for the Port Authority Police or Fire), I think that it is great to give people something to celebrate on that day.

With time others are bound to have weddings on those dates as well. We don''t stop getting married on Pearl Harbor Day or V-Day or any other...this is your wedding! Celebrate it and it''s not ok, IT''S GREAT!

Ditto every word!

 

[blueroses]

You know what? I think having a lovely and happy memory to accompany the painful memories of September 11 might be a really nice thing. I have a couple of friends with that birthday and I know it''s hard for them--they actually feel guilty having a birthday, which is wrong. I was there that day, almost directly underground on the subway, and I still think it''s fine. The people lost then and since still need to be remembered and honored, and they will be--but I don''t think that has to mean a moratorium on the date forever. (My contrast, I was in a wedding on Sunday Sept. 12, 2004....at that point they deliberately did that to AVOID 9/11, which I totally agreed with. But three years is very different from nine.)

It will always sting, there will always be associations, but I''m sure that''s been the case for people who were married on D-Day, Pearl Harbor Day, etc.

Good luck--let us know what you decide.

 

[tlh]

Unless you or an immediate family member have ties to an individual lost in the tragedy, I think the date is okay. But if a dear family member or close personal friend passed in the attacks, I think that you wouldn''t be asking the question, because it was just too sad.

I think if you are able to get passed the sadness of the event and be able to celebrate your anniversary with happiness every time that date rolls around, then by all means go ahead and do so. Me personally, tragedies happen all over the world all the time... and even though as the PP stated, Pearl Harbor was horrible, but people don''t stop from getting married on that date... I''m sure people didn''t get married on that date for a few decades after that attack... it was just too soon for the date to be as influential.... if that makes sense. I personally just don''t think I could handle every anniversary to have the news story be about the attacks. As time goes by of course it will get easier, but just not now... too soon. Especially since the 10th anniversary is coming up in 2011... and I wouldn''t be able to have my very first anniversary with my husband be on the same day as the 10th anniversary of that... it would just take a little air out of my sails, because you know every news station, will play up the 10 year rememberance of the event. I''d just rather not have that be the topic of the day, when all I want to do is eat the stale piece of cake, and look through our wedding album and remember... US.

 

[Lilac]

I think it could go either way. If you personally wouldn''t mind having news about memorial services and remembering what happened every year on your anniversary, then go for it. It''s your wedding and you can have it whenever you want! I think as long as you don''t mind and as long as you don''t have any close friends or family who were personally affected by the tragedies of 9/11 then it''s fine.

However, personally I wouldn''t do it. I live in NY and a lot of my friends and family were either personally affected or know many others affected. I feel sad every year on 9/11 and living in NY I see memorials and constant news every year about it on that day. I wouldn''t want my anniversary to be on 9/11 because I would always associate that day with the memories of where I was on 9/11, how I heard about it, the constant images that were on TV here that day and the many weeks following, and the pain of people I know who lost a loved one.

But if that''s not the case for you (if you live somewhere else or didn''t know anyone affected by it) and if you wouldn''t mind having it on that date, then you should do it!

 

[ms.halo]

Date: 7/31/2009 12:40:21 PM
Author: blueroses
You know what? I think having a lovely and happy memory to accompany the painful memories of September 11 might be a really nice thing. I have a couple of friends with that birthday and I know it's hard for them--they actually feel guilty having a birthday, which is wrong.

Word.

The whole point of surviving something terrible is celebrating our lives. Don't worry about the date, especially since it will be in Italy.

 

[mrscushion]

Thanks everyone for your votes and replies so far. You are very helpful. I''ll definitely let you know what we decide and once we pick the venue I will of course post pics as well.

FYI, we did not lose anyone we personally knew in the terrorist attacks; nor do I think any guest on the American side did, but I could be wrong.

 

[musey]

If you are okay with it, then that''s all that matters!

For myself, I wouldn''t want to be married on that date, only because of the mental association. It would bother me. If it wouldn''t bother you, then go for it!!

 

[cleokizzy]

Date: 7/31/2009 12:34:35 PM
Author: wannaBMrsH
I voted for the first option, it''s OK, but I don''t think it''s okay, I think it''s great! If that''s your wedding date then at least you and your loved ones will have new and happy memories to associate with that date.


Unless you are directly affected (you were in the twin towers or your family works for the Port Authority Police or Fire), I think that it is great to give people something to celebrate on that day.


With time others are bound to have weddings on those dates as well. We don''t stop getting married on Pearl Harbor Day or V-Day or any other...this is your wedding! Celebrate it and it''s not ok, IT''S GREAT!

ditto.

 

[Tuckins1]

I don''t think there is anything wrong with it. Yes, it was a tragic day, but there are still birthdays, anniversaries, etc... on that day too! Lots of sadness on that day, but no need to wallow in it.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 7/31/2009 12:38:44 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 7/31/2009 12:34:35 PM

Author: wannaBMrsH

I voted for the first option, it''s OK, but I don''t think it''s okay, I think it''s great! If that''s your wedding date then at least you and your loved ones will have new and happy memories to associate with that date.


Unless you are directly affected (you were in the twin towers or your family works for the Port Authority Police or Fire), I think that it is great to give people something to celebrate on that day.


With time others are bound to have weddings on those dates as well. We don''t stop getting married on Pearl Harbor Day or V-Day or any other...this is your wedding! Celebrate it and it''s not ok, IT''S GREAT!

Ditto every word!

Thritto every word and well put WannaB! It would be a wonderful celebration on a tragic memorial. Despite all America went through on that date, you are choosing to celebrate, life, love, and building the next chapter together!

 

[decodelighted]

I think its a fine day for a wedding .. but a horrible day for an ANNIVERSARY. You can guarantee that it will be associated with memorials & news stories etc etc for the rest of our lives. Its a shorthand for America''s most recent huge tragedy. (Though arguably the flood in New Orleans & the current war rate up there too...) The others don''t have specific memorable single dates to them.

Would. Not. Do. It.