16 Days away and I feel exhausted, fat and overwhelmed.

[tberube]

Vent time!

So the wedding is just over two weeks away and although I''m excited for the day to come, I''m also overloaded and tired. I have so much done, but so much more to do! Yesterday I finished designing and printing all the table markers, placecards and menus. Got the rest of the cameras in for my photo guest book. Today I''m printing up instructions for the photo guest book. I still have to finish buying goodies for hotel guests and the bathrooms at the reception. I have a hair trial tonight, Bachelorette party Saturday (and a baby shower, btw), final fitting next Monday, a work shower next Wednesday night, haircut next Thursday, and I CANNOT forget to figure out a time to go pick up my marriage license. And I still have to put together all the paper items...backers and easels on the table cards, corks on the place cards, backers on the menus, etc. etc.

I just got over this terrible fiasco with my dress...the seamstress insisted on ordering me a size 10 based on my measurements, and even though I argued with her for a size 12 instead, I relented and the dress came in TOOOO SMALLLLL!!! Ugh. So I went through three disasterous fittings where I went home and cried afterward. I feel fat and bloated. And since I''ve been so busy, I haven''t had a chance to work out in almost two weeks and I haven''t lost any weight. I feel guilty because I know every bride is supposed to lose weight for their wedding, but despite my best efforts and intentions, I have not lost a pound. In fact, with all the running and good eating I have actually done I''m still heavier than I was this time last year.

Truth is, I''m not enjoying this process right now. Thankfully everything''s going just fine and it will be beautiful, but the devil is in the details and I''m really feeling completely sucked in and overwhelmed by all of this. Our spare bedroom is a MESS of ribbon, vases, cameras, paper items, glue guns, wedding shoes, jewelry, gifts, baskets, makeup and everything else wedding-related...and every time I look at it I want to SCREAM!!!!

Sigh. Thanks for letting me vent, girls.

 

[CrookedRock]

Well... If that doesn''t convince me to elope I don''t know what will!

Seriously though... I sorry you are feeling the pressure! I know what it''s like to be overwhelmed, but I can''t imagine if it was with my wedding. Just know that it will all get done and it will all be worth it in the end! Take a lil break tonight and have a glass of wine and get a good nights sleep and hopefully you''ll feel better in the am! Good Luck!

 

[violet02]

Oh I so know how you feel right now! I''ve been going through a lot of the same feelings you are! I''m doing my darndest to get things done ahead of time but it seems like there''s just more and more to do! I''m sorry you''re feeling overwhelmed I wish there was an easy answer. I still feel that way even when friends offer to help... I just can''t help feeling that way. I''m facing the paper assembly nightmare in about a week as well. Ugh.

That really sucks about your dress. I guess i''m grateful they ordered mine 2 sizes bigger than the sample I tried on. I''m a 10 based on measurements but they ordered me a 12 just in case. It seemed to big at first but better too big than too small. My bridesmaid had your exact problem and she can barely fit into the dress now it sucks! I''m in the same boat you are re: working out and weight loss too. I haven''t lost any weight either... I''m not sure why brides have to lose all this weight beforehand anyways! That''s so much pressure added on to everything else. The most I was hoping for at this point was some ''toning''. Maybe you''re not losing weight because you''re gaining muscle from the running around... so don''t focus on the scale just on how you feel with your body. If you feel stronger or more tone you don''t need to lose weight to do that. Whats the solution with your dress can they make it work??

Last night I had a mini panic attack when I was out with a friend. It was like suddenly I regreted taking on all of this and I was like, why the heck are we spending all this money and time on one day! It will go by so fast argh! My apartment is in the same state yours is in as well. I am scared I''m going to forget something there''s so many odds and ends piled up!

And I''m sure it will turn out beautiful for you... you just gotta make it through the home stretech! With 16 days out try to get some relaxing time in there if possible. Maybe get some help with assembly? I wish I could help you with that! That''s up my alley. Try not to focus on the weight too much, not a lot of time left and it''s best not to try to push a bunch of weight loss at this point. Don''t feel bad, you''ll still look fabulous and you''ll look like you, just as you are, which is just fine!

 

[Pandora II]

Take some time out if you can and relax.

The day before my wedding I swear I was telling everyone that not eloping was the worst decision I had ever made. I was sure I would hate the whole thing because I was so stressed and everything was going wrong - flowers arriving in the wrong colours for starters!

In the end, I can truthfully say that my wedding was one of the best days of my life (as of 3.30pm, lets not talk about the morning!) and if I could relive the day again - but more slowly - I would.

Believe me, everything will be fine. I was still icing my cake at 2am on the morning of.

 

[tberube]

Violet02 - The dress was too tight around my hips (which makes NO sense, considering the only place on my body that has NEVER been a problem is my hips!), so they had to add a panel of satin to each side to add room. THANKFULLY the dress has a stretchy lace overlay so it won''t be noticeable. But man, it was really touch-and-go for a while there.

Crookedrock - Yes, sometimes a glass of wine or a cocktail does help me relax. That dress fiasco has already cost me an entire bottle of Grey Goose!

Pandora - Yikes!! Icing your own cake the night before the wedding?! Now I feel guilty for even complaining...I have none of that to do, thank God!

 

[LaraOnline]

Can you ring up a girlfriend or a sister and get them to handle the glue gun for a while? What you need right now is a facial, a pedicure, and an army of mates to take the chores away from you.
Who cares about weight loss? Not your FI! So, who?!!

 

[marchswallowbird]

Where is it written that every bride is supposed to lose weight for her wedding?

God knows I''m not going to be able to. Your fiance loves you the way you are NOW and it is not doing you one whit of good to worry about this with everything else you have going on. Let it go. Accept that you are beautiful the way you are now. Do try to schedule a workout to reduce your stress load, and try to eat healthy for the same reasons -- you''ll simply feel better all around. But please stop feeling guilty about not losing weight.

 

[julesbeth]

Aw Tberube!!!! I am so sorry - if I was in your area I would come and help you tonight! First off, do NOT stress about your weight. You look gorgeous just the way you are, you fiance knows this, your family knows this AND your friends know it. Screw the weight thing (i haven''t lost a pound either). The good thing is, while you have a lot to do, you seem organized and know exactly what needs to be done. Bravo! Take a deep breath, prioritize, and don''t be afraid to put your dear FI to work either!

I know what you mean about not enjoying the process (I have 44 days to go) and i have come to realize i am SO not a details person. my mom called today to ask me about coffee prices! Are you kidding me!? I guess, all we can do is plug through it, and enjoy the day when it finally comes. We are always here to listen and if there is anything we can do, let us know!!

Best of luck darlin''. Everything is going to work out, and you are going to have a wonderful wedding!

 

[Krissie]

((((HUGS)))) to you! I wish I had some advice, but I know that I''ll probably be freaking out 16 days before my own wedding, if not sooner. You will be a beautiful bride no matter what, that I promise!

 

[Maisie]

Gosh I am so sorry you aren''t enjoying the run up to your wedding. I wish I was closer too, I would definitely help you do all the running around!

 

[goldenstar]

Do you have bridesmaids? If so, now is the time to give them a call and DELEGATE.

 

[bee*]

I''m sorry to hear that you''re stressed tberube! Sending lots of hugs. Try and even take 20 minutes to yourself, go for a walk or do something where you can just relax.

 

[kittybean]

I''m really sorry to hear you are so stressed. I think you''ve gotten some excellent advice so far. Take a step back and delegate some of those responsibilities to friends, siblings, parents, or anyone else in grabbing range. People want to help--they just need to hear from you what they need to do.

On the weight loss, I think it''s absurd that everyone seems to think that brides need to lose weight before their wedding, as if the brides weren''t stressed and overwhelmed already. Please don''t feel pressured to lose weight! You will look absolutely beautiful regardless of whether you shed that last five pounds or not. My good friend is wearing a size 12 wedding dress, and she is not even close to fat--she looks healthy and glowing and beautiful, which is how you will look, I''m sure.

Sending you a big hug.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 8/21/2008 12:56:53 PM
Author: marchswallowbird
Where is it written that every bride is supposed to lose weight for her wedding?

God knows I''m not going to be able to. Your fiance loves you the way you are NOW and it is not doing you one whit of good to worry about this with everything else you have going on. Let it go. Accept that you are beautiful the way you are now. Do try to schedule a workout to reduce your stress load, and try to eat healthy for the same reasons -- you''ll simply feel better all around. But please stop feeling guilty about not losing weight.

This is such good advice. tberube, please don''t feel down about yourself. The problem isn''t your body, it''s the dress that is a size too small.

I am a huge proponent of looking like *YOU* on your wedding day, and if that "you" is a size 12, own it!

You sound incredibly stressed, and the last thing you need to be on top of that is guilty.

Can you delegate some of the tasks you have left to family and friends? I''m sure there will be some people who are willing to help take the load off of you. Good luck with everything, and I hope you feel better before the wedding.

 

[Gypsy]

TB!!!

Honey, I’m so sorry. I got tense and knotted on your behalf just reading your post. I really wish I could just come out there and give you a helping hand. ((HUGE HUGS)). Marchswallow is absolutely right about the weight. I’ll tell you, I know I haven’t lost any… and I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d gained so you aren’t alone. I have very little advice to offer, just great big HUGS. Try to take care of yourself as much as you can, and feel free to vent daily if needed! If there IS anything I can do long distance, you know how to get a hold of me.

 

[isaku5]

Date: 8/21/2008 11:35:36 AM
Author: LaraOnline
Can you ring up a girlfriend or a sister and get them to handle the glue gun for a while? What you need right now is a facial, a pedicure, and an army of mates to take the chores away from you.
Who cares about weight loss? Not your FI! So, who?!!

ITA!!

I know that brides are told to "relax and enjoy" the preparations for the big event, but I have yet to meet a bride who could.

What about delegating some of the things that others could do to members of your family, or your MOH and BM''s

?

 

[Haven]

Deep breaths, wine, your favorite movie, and a chocolate bar.

I''m sorry you''re feeling this way, honey. For what it''s worth, I gained quite a bit of weight right before our wedding (I went to Greece for two weeks a month before the big day, how does one NOT gain weight in Greece, I''d like to know.) My dress was definitely tight, especially in the back, and I was hysterical thinking that my then-FI would think I looked horrible on our wedding day. I felt huge, yadda yadda.

And then it was our wedding day. And I felt like the most beautiful girl in the world the minute my hubby laid eyes on me.

It will be okay. It will. No, it will be beautiful.

 

[LaraOnline]

sorry, what''s ITA?

 

[basil]

I''m 29 days away and I feel exactly the same way!

I have my first dress fitting on Saturday. So far my dress has been kind of loose so it''s not all that flattering and the past couple times I''ve tried it on I''ve wondered why I liked it so much before. The lady we are using is a friend of the family who used to be a seamstress for a fancy bridal boutique. So she is supposed to be fabulous, but she is kind of unstructured - I don''t know what time she is coming or anything! Everyone keeps saying "oh, don''t worry about it, Candy will get it done, she always does. Don''t worry!" But it''s hard not to.

I still want to lose 2-3 pounds mostly for psychological reasons which I know is ridiculous, but I just feel like I want to say "I weighed xxx on my wedding day". I''m halfway through a pack of Crest Whitestrips and they don''t seem to be making as much of a difference as I had hoped. I still need to schedule a haircut, have a second hair trial, get my eyebrows threaded again, and schedule and get a bikini wax and a manicure/pedicure before then too.

But basically I''m freaking because now I''ve been planning this wedding for 1 year and 23 months and I''m only just coming to the realization that maybe not everything is going to be 100% perfect. I know it''s about getting married and celebrating with family and friends, but accepting non-perfect table numbers because we just don''t have time to do anything else is a big step for me mentally right now.

 

[kama_s]

I think everyone needs to step back, take a deep breath and remind yourself that even though it's a big day in your life, what eventually matters would be your marriage with the most wonderful man.

And honey, you'll always be the most beautiful woman to your hubby, so it doesn't matter if you dont weigh what you'd like to weigh. Also, right after the wedding/honeymoon, I'd suggest you come home and take EVERYTHING in your spare room and chuck it out. Even if it's ribbons you can use for Christmas or whatever. I find decluttering very relaxing!

I'm sure everything will go well, just try and enjoy your wedding and the days leading up to it.

 

[Blackpaw]

Im so sorry tberube

that sux that your going through this. I say get someone else to take care of anything ribbon related, get a bottle of grey goose and remember it will be all ok! and *hugs* if that doesnt work...

oh and have plenty of vitamin c - i like to think that cures everything!